don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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