WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm experimenting with sincerity
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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