Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
