Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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