I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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