Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
