It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
