I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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