I'm lost and stupid without you.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
