great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
