I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
it was like his penis was on wheels.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
