I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
