Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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