I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
