fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
