Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
