His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
