your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I think I sprained my soul last night
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Randomize
