So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We talked him into tasing himself.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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