Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
