After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
