We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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