I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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