I cannot find my penis.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
what is it with giant penises always finding me
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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