I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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