my mouth tastes like poor choices
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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