remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
