So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
