But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
