There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
