he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
