Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
