Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
