Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
