great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
