After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
