? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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