Tell her she can't have a vagina
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
