If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
