I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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