what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
