i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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