im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
