And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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