He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
