i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
