she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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