I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
