We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
