Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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